Sunday, April 28, 2024

Therapy Is Almost Like Being in Love

charlotte sartre twitter

When I first learned the advantage of summarizing a client’s story or a therapy incident in a one-line synopsis, massaged to emphasize the connection to the therapy’s focus, I realized that I needed practice. So after every TV episode, commercial, or movie I watched, after every news story, novel, or chapter I read, after every story told to me by a friend or family member, I stated my synopsis out loud (silent rehearsal produces retrospective revision–cheating). After thousands of muddled attempts, I got to the point where I could confidently summarize what I had heard or read or seen.

No sharing, selling, trading, or begging for pirated content.

After thousands of further attempts, I got to the where I could spin the synopsis to make a point. I even found that the commitment to synopsizing forced me to pay closer attention. My Twitter had maybe 1,000 followers, and most of them were people I knew from high school. I figured if they didn’t already know I do porn, they’re going to find out anyway, and they’ll either want to still be my friend- [or not]. Most people are still really cool with me. I didn’t want to make a whole new persona.

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charlotte sartre twitter

Las Vegas, 10.04.21

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I love doing taxes, but I don’t really like telling [people] how much they owe. I was living in the Bay Area at that point, and I started looking at different companies I could shoot for. I didn’t have an agent, so I was just bothering anybody I could. I was one of those people who discovered the internet a little too early and got really curious with Googling. I was like, oh my God, you can type in “boobs! ” I was always really queer from a young age, but not knowing there was a word for that.

What do you think it will take to get there? I think the performers have to take it into their own hands. What do you think allowed you to grow your audience so fast? I believe in the early 2000s and ’90s, when social media wasn’t as prevalent as it is today, agents were more of a necessity.

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Prostitution is legalized—at brothels outside of Clark County. I think the self-defense laws are a little more stringent, [and] as a woman I want to be able to protect myself should worst-case scenario things happen.

I think what people like about me is I post about my cats or, “I’m going to do this today,” or I post about spiders. When I was doing a lot of taxidermy I’d post about that, or when I was studying accounting I’d post about that, so people got to see me being a normal, multifaceted person. Also, MyFreeCams hosted most of the awards, which is a great cam site if you’re a cis female, but if you’re a trans performer or a man—basically anybody with a penis—you’re not allowed on MyFreeCams. So it’s a lot of posturing and peacocking to appear more inclusive, but as an industry we still have a long way to go. Is the porn industry moving on from Southern California to Las Vegas? In LA County you have Measure B, which is the mandatory condom law.

charlotte sartre twitter

If you’re shooting a scene without a condom, somebody could report you to OSHA and you’d have to pay a gigantic fine and it’s a big pain in the ass for something that almost everybody does. In Las Vegas and Nevada, there’s no condom law. Many clients are easy to love, and it’s no surprise that research consistently shows that psychotherapy works best with the people who need it least. How did you come up with the names Goth Charlotte and Charlotte Sartre?

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There’s no game of telephone, there’s no room for miscommunication and I don’t have to give a percentage of my check to anybody. I feel if I’m sucking 100 percent of the dick or vagina or whatever, why do I have to give somebody 10 or 15 percent of my check? If you can answer the phone or an email, have a Twitter and know how to use a calendar, you really don’t need an agent in my opinion, but for some people it’s really beneficial.

If I see a director I might want to shoot for, I can just message them. Another example of bad faith that Sartre gives is that of a young woman on a first date. The young woman's date compliments her on her physical appearance, but she ignores the obvious sexual connotations of his compliment and chooses instead to direct the compliment at herself as a conscious human being. He then takes her hand, but she neither takes it nor rejects it.

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We caught up with Sartre inside her Vegas home, where she lives with her fiancé, adult film star Lance Hart, four cats and six tarantulas. Wearing flame-adorned pajama pants and a fluffy gray robe, Sartre discussed everything from how she got her industry start to her upcoming wedding (she and Hart are set to tie the knot on February 16), diversity in porn and more. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.

Most people watch porn, yet the people making and producing it are largely stigmatized. It’s like, how can you consume something and then turn around and shame the person who made it? I think a lot of it is projection, like the trope of the anti-gay senator or congressman who’s soliciting boys for blow jobs in men’s bathrooms. They want to jerk with one hand and point the finger with the other.

However, to do so is in itself to make a choice, and thereby to acknowledge their freedom as conscious human beings. The 20th century French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre called it mauvaise foi ('bad faith'), the habit that people have of deceiving themselves into thinking that they do not have the freedom to make choices for fear of the potential consequences of making a choice. What awards have you won in your career so far? This past AVN I won my first [award] for most outrageous sex scene.

Some of your friends probably follow her on Twitter. One example of bad faith that Sartre gives is that of a waiter who does his best to conform to everything that a waiter should be. For Sartre, the waiter's exaggerated behaviour is evidence that he is play-acting at being a waiter, an automaton whose essence is to be a waiter. However, in order to play-act at being a waiter, the waiter must at some level be aware that he is not in fact a waiter, but a conscious human being who is deceiving himself that he is a waiter. Besides reflecting generally on the parallels between a healthy marriage and psychotherapy, I am specifically noting how the nuanced listening in marriage develops out of the knowledge that your spouse’s moods, hidden agendas, and varying ways of connecting with you matter to you. You need to know what’s up with your spouse because your own well-being depends on it.

All subissions must be related to Charlotte Sartre. Any content not related to Charlotte Sartre will be removed. My fiancé, Lance Hart, we met in Florida randomly after sending each other cat pictures on Twitter. He moved out to Vegas a couple months after that. I was living in LA, and when the lease was up I just decided to move here with him. LA’s a lot more expensive than Vegas, and I like the laws we have in Nevada better than California.

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